Norman Birnbach |
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Photo: Paul D. Michaels
A native New Yorker, I'm an award-winning writer who has published more than a hundred op-eds, essays, short stories and articles. My work has appeared in The New York Times, The New York Times Magazine, The Wall St. Journal, Chicago Tribune, Miami Herald, San Francisco Chronicle, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, New York Magazine, The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, and Militant Grammarian (they're actually quite reasonable), Splitsider, New York Magazine, and other print and online publications. My debut novel, "Stealing Time," a time-travel jewelry heist co-authored with Tilia Klebenov Jacobs, was named a Claymore Top Pick at Killer Nashville 2024 and is now available here.
One reason I wrote a time-travel jewelry heist is due to the only complaint about my short story, "It's All Relative at the Space-Time Cafe," which appeared in Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction and was reprinted (in translation) in Israel's Tenth Dimension magazine. One reader posted he was disappointed that the story didn't involve time travel. So I wrote novel that were time travel was an essential element.
Awards
In addition to the Claymore Award, several stories have received recognition. “Empty Nights” won Best of Show for Fiction in the 2019 Marblehead Literary Festival. "Waiting Room," "Shrine to the Cult of Joy” and "Wooden Kayak" received Honorable Mentions in Fiction in 2024, 2023 and 2016, respectively, from the Marblehead Literary Festival. ("Wooden Kayak," a ghost story that I originally told to my kids as a bedtime story, also appeared in Spaceports & Spidersilk Magazine).
"Shrine to the Cult of Joy," "Waiting Room," and "Homework Assignment #3," which appears in the Militant Grammarian, are part of a series of linked stories. (It occurs to me now that publishing a story called "Homework Assignment #3" in a journal called Militant Grammarian may turn off some readers if they think it's an actual grammar assignment -- it's not. "Homework Assignment #3" is a humorous dramatic monolog.) "Shrine to the Cult of Joy" and "Waiting Room" both received Honorable Mentions in regional literary festivals.
Humor Pieces
My humor pieces often tackle hard-hitting topics such as geeks and fashion (Higgs Weldon: "Five Tips to Help Techies Embrace Fashion"; Barnes & Noble's "Grin & Tonic: "VintageTech" and Glossy News: "Lessons From This Year in Tech & Fashion"), parking (Boston Globe: "Parking at Logan Airport -- Now There's a Challenge" and Indianapolis Star: “A Toyota with a Mind of its Own”), family life (Wall Street Journal: “Manager’s Journal: Benchmarking the Joneses” and Boston Herald: “Gall in the Family”), sports (New York Times: “Let’s Make Phone Tag a Medal Event” & “Mets Memo: Pay ‘em When They Win” and Chicago Tribune: “Baseball Should Sing a New Tune”), among other topics.
My writing has been described by editors as having "great energy, good jokes, and obvious timeliness," "a great sense of wordplay," "smart and original," "not suitable for our needs at this time," and "try us again next time." One reviewer described a story of mine as being "nothing more than a medium to pack as many science jokes a possible into 2000 words." (Kids, don't try that at home.) Another review said my story, "reminds me of a Big Bang Theory episode on steroids." (That was meant as a compliment, not as an endorsement of juiced-up fiction.) I am also proud that an article I wrote in 1998 for the Philadelphia Inquirer was ranked No. 8th most popular of the day at a time when far fewer people were accessing articles on the Internet (so I don't know how they were able to rank popularity back then.) A piece I edited, “Sleep Tips from a 90-Year-Old Insomniac” by Naomi Birnbach was named one of "Rumpus Staff Favorites 2020" by Elissa Bassist, Funny Women editor at The Rumpus.
I now live outside Boston with my wife, three children and our dog, Taxi.
One reason I wrote a time-travel jewelry heist is due to the only complaint about my short story, "It's All Relative at the Space-Time Cafe," which appeared in Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction and was reprinted (in translation) in Israel's Tenth Dimension magazine. One reader posted he was disappointed that the story didn't involve time travel. So I wrote novel that were time travel was an essential element.
Awards
In addition to the Claymore Award, several stories have received recognition. “Empty Nights” won Best of Show for Fiction in the 2019 Marblehead Literary Festival. "Waiting Room," "Shrine to the Cult of Joy” and "Wooden Kayak" received Honorable Mentions in Fiction in 2024, 2023 and 2016, respectively, from the Marblehead Literary Festival. ("Wooden Kayak," a ghost story that I originally told to my kids as a bedtime story, also appeared in Spaceports & Spidersilk Magazine).
"Shrine to the Cult of Joy," "Waiting Room," and "Homework Assignment #3," which appears in the Militant Grammarian, are part of a series of linked stories. (It occurs to me now that publishing a story called "Homework Assignment #3" in a journal called Militant Grammarian may turn off some readers if they think it's an actual grammar assignment -- it's not. "Homework Assignment #3" is a humorous dramatic monolog.) "Shrine to the Cult of Joy" and "Waiting Room" both received Honorable Mentions in regional literary festivals.
Humor Pieces
My humor pieces often tackle hard-hitting topics such as geeks and fashion (Higgs Weldon: "Five Tips to Help Techies Embrace Fashion"; Barnes & Noble's "Grin & Tonic: "VintageTech" and Glossy News: "Lessons From This Year in Tech & Fashion"), parking (Boston Globe: "Parking at Logan Airport -- Now There's a Challenge" and Indianapolis Star: “A Toyota with a Mind of its Own”), family life (Wall Street Journal: “Manager’s Journal: Benchmarking the Joneses” and Boston Herald: “Gall in the Family”), sports (New York Times: “Let’s Make Phone Tag a Medal Event” & “Mets Memo: Pay ‘em When They Win” and Chicago Tribune: “Baseball Should Sing a New Tune”), among other topics.
My writing has been described by editors as having "great energy, good jokes, and obvious timeliness," "a great sense of wordplay," "smart and original," "not suitable for our needs at this time," and "try us again next time." One reviewer described a story of mine as being "nothing more than a medium to pack as many science jokes a possible into 2000 words." (Kids, don't try that at home.) Another review said my story, "reminds me of a Big Bang Theory episode on steroids." (That was meant as a compliment, not as an endorsement of juiced-up fiction.) I am also proud that an article I wrote in 1998 for the Philadelphia Inquirer was ranked No. 8th most popular of the day at a time when far fewer people were accessing articles on the Internet (so I don't know how they were able to rank popularity back then.) A piece I edited, “Sleep Tips from a 90-Year-Old Insomniac” by Naomi Birnbach was named one of "Rumpus Staff Favorites 2020" by Elissa Bassist, Funny Women editor at The Rumpus.
I now live outside Boston with my wife, three children and our dog, Taxi.
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