Selected op-eds, short fiction, humor and awards.

Op-Eds

The New York Times​

• "Let's Make Phone Tag a Medal Event"
• "Mets Memo: Pay 'em When They Win"
• "The Degree That Life Confers"

The New York Times Magazine

• "NYPD Blue" 

The Wall Street Journal

• "Manager's Journal: Benchmarking the Joneses"

The Asian Wall Street Journal

• "That's Not Your Colleague, That's Your Wife"

Boston Globe

• "Parking at Logan Airport - Now There's a Challenge"**

                 ** This humor piece generated a Letter to the Editor that advocated for environmentally-friendly parking solutions.

Boston Herald

• "Celeb grad speeches just an act"

• "Virtual world of trouble: Living in the Age of Too Much Information"
• "Stars and Stripes are Glorious, But Flag Day Gets No Respect"
• "Above All, Don't Give Appliances to the Wife on Mother's Day"
• "Why Daylights Saving Time Doesn't Mean Time to Spare"
• "Gall in the Family"
• "It's Time to Improve the Olympics"
• "Barbies You Won't be Seeing Soon"

Chicago Tribune

• "Baseball Should Sing a New Tune"*
• "Take Note: Holiday Shopping Tips for Shopping-Impaired Guys"
• "Are We Having Fun Yet?"
• "Got Any Big Plans for the Holiday?"
• "A Few Pointers on How to Improve the Winter Olympics"

* "Baseball Should Sing a New Tune" was cited in the Fordham Intellectual Property, Media and Entertainment Law Journal: "Panel 1: Stadium Finance, Naming Rights & Team Relocation," page 39.

New York Daily News

• "Avoiding the Holiday Guilt-a-thon"
• "Dig This Sales Pitch"
• "Ivy Tower Baseball"
• "Cold Shoulder for Winter Games"
• "Flag Day – Not a Banner Holiday"

Miami Herald

• "Random Thoughts: Sunday Smile - VCR That Flashes 11:00"
• "Random Thoughts: Olympics for Real People"


Other Major Market Newspapers

• Indianapolis Star: "A Toyota with a Mind of its Own"
• Philadelphia Inquirer: "Change the Rules, the Games, Everything: I am Not Watching Until . . ."
• Seattle Times: "How to Improve the Olympic Games"
• Portland Oregonian: "Boycott Olympics' Television"
• Washington Times: "Critic-at-Large: The Winter Olympics on Thin Ice"
• Arizona Republic: "The Degree That Life Confers"
• Honolulu Star-Bulletin: "Why I'm Not Watching the Olympics"
• Rocky Mountain News: "Olympics Put Our Endurance to Test"
• San Francisco Chronicle: "Wasting Time on the Olympics"
• Houston Chronicle: "If the Olympic Games Were Based on Real Life, More People Would Watch"
• Boston Business Journal: "Top-secret Business Consulting Tips from Bond, James Bond"

Regional Newspapers

• Salem News: "Worst summer vacations in history"
• Gloucester Times : "My View: My life is an open e-book"
• Boston Business Journal: "Top-secret Business Consulting Tips from Bond, James Bond"

Fiction

The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction

• "It’s All Relative at the Space-Time Café"*
• "Interview: Norman Birnbach on “It’s All Relative at the Space-Time Cafe”
• "Editor's Note for Nov/Dec 2015"

* This story was included in 51 new short fiction writers (out of 604 stories) reviewed by Rocket Stack Rank for the 2016 Campbell Award.

The Tenth Dimension (Israel)

• "Everything is Relative at Café Space-Time" ("הכל יחסי בקפה המרחב זמן" pages 48-51)

Militant Grammarian​

• "Homework Assignment #3"

Mr. Bull: Literary Magazine: Fiction​

• "Snowbanks"

Spaceports & Spidersilk Magazine

• "Wooden Kayak"

Humor

McSweeney's Internet Tendency

• "Things That Needed One More Iteration Before They Were Ready to Go to Market"

Splitsider/New York Magazine’s “Vulture”

• "Taylor Swifties"

The Big Jewel

• "The Gods Must Be Rebranded"

The Rumpus

• "Sleep Tips by a 90-Year-Old Insomniac" (edited by)*

* This piece was named one of "Rumpus Staff Favorites 2020" by Funny Women editor, Elissa Bassist.

Glossy News

• "Welcome to Fantasy Baseball 2019"
• "Shirt Tales Part II: How My Lucky Red Sox Shirt Helped the Patriots Win Super Bowl LIII"
• "Shirt Tales: How My Lucky Shirt Helped the Red Sox Win"
• "Lessons From This Year in Tech & Fashion"

BuzzFeed

• "20 Days That Either Served, Shouldn’t Have Served Or Should Never Serve As A Major Plot Point In A Hollywood Movie"

The Spoof

• "Bill O'Reilly Fights Back"
• "Fit for a King"

Sage News

• "Star Wars Would Be Different If Its Technology Was Like Ours"
• "Oscar Winner J.K. Simmons Makes New Demands Of Farmers Insurance Ad Agency"
• "Blatter Quits FIFA to Boost NFL Goodell's Integrity"

• "Nickname Guide for Newborn Princesses"

Broadcast

• The BullSheet: Scintillating Radio Show Prep: "Bull's Bits: BS Things That Needed 1 More Iteration Before Being Ready to Market"
• National College TV (NCTV): "TV News"
• XYQ-AM (1010 AM), Portland, OR, "Dream Weaver Show"
• Mind Extension University: "American Memory Project"
• Mind Extension University: "The Candidates on Education"

Magazine Articles

• Seventeen: "Campus Hate Speech Laws"

Awards

• Claymore Top Pick, Killer Nashville Writers Conference for "Stealing Time," 2024
• Honorable Mention in Fiction, Marblehead Literary Festival for "Waiting Room," 2024
• Honorable Mention in Fiction, Marblehead Literary Festival for "Shrine to the Cult of Joy,” 2023
• Best of Show, Fiction, Marblehead Literary Festival for "Empty Nights," 2019
• Honorable Mention in Fiction, Marblehead Literary Festival for "Wooden Kayak," 2016

Sample Reviews

• The Adventurine: "The Tiffany Diamond and Murf the Surf Inspired ‘Stealing Time’: M. J. Rose reviews the fabulously fun new heist novel" (Nov. 19, 2024)
• Literally Lori B (via TikTok): "Stealing Time!" (Nov. 17, 2024)
• Readers Favorite's Favorite: "Stealing Time" (Nov. 13, 2024)
• Lion's Pride: "Alumni Publications: Stealing Time" (Fall 2024)
• Reading.Late.Into.The.Night (via Instagram): "Stealing Time Review" (Nov. 12, 2024)
• MarBooks88 (via Instagram): "Stealing Time: This fun read is a time travel, jewelry heist book and I really enjoyed it. It reads like a movie. Set over a long weekend in 1980 and a few hours in 2020 the short chapters kept me reading." (Nov. 11, 2024)
• Tales Untangled: "STEALING TIME—A Race Against Time for the Heist of the Century" (Oct 29, 2024): "STEALING TIME really is a high-octane adventure with a race car pace...If you think the rest of the book is fast, the ending puts it into an even higher gear!.. I enjoyed this book, it was a fast read. It’s also refreshing that there isn’t a romance involved—it really is focused on the crime and family dynamics. Happy reading!"
• Red Carpet Crash: "Book Review: ‘Stealing Time: A Novel’ By Tilia Jacobs And Norman Birnbach" (Oct. 29, 2024): "This is a fun time-travel mystery, with interesting characters and a good look at 2020 and 1980 and all the differences. Readers will enjoy this one"
• SFRevu: "The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction - November/December 2015– Volume 129, Nos.5&6, Whole No.722": "'It's All Relative at the Space-Time Café' by Norman Birnbach -+- Bohr and his former girlfriend, Jenny, meet in the eponymous bar. Their friends all have very familiar names and say very familiar things. A lot of jokes here and the story is pure fun."
• Amazing Stories: "MAGAZINE REVIEW: The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction Nov/Dec 2015": "According to the preface, 'It’s All Relative at the Space-Time Café,' is Norman Birnbach’s first published SF story. It’s kind of an extended pun (no, not a Feghoot), and reminds me of a Big Bang Theory episode on steroids."
• Best SF: "Norman Birnbach. It’s All Relative at the Space Time Cafe. (Fantasy and Science Fiction, Nov/Dec 2015)": "A first SF story from an established writer, who is an SF reader, as the story clearly shows. A light-hearted look at love, amongst an investigation into the disappearance (or not) of Schrodinger. The plot is just a way to get a guest appearance from every scientist who has a science theory relevant to SF who ever drew breath. And there are a lot of them from Copernicus and Ptolemy to Hawking and Hubble, all making pertinent and apposite comments."
• Locus Online: "Lois Tilton reviews Short Fiction, early October 2015"
• Tangent: "Fantasy & Science Fiction, November/December 2015"
• Rocket Stack Rank: "It's All Relative at Hothe Space-Time Café, by Norman Birnbach"
• SF Crowsnest (UK): "The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction (Nov./Dec. 2015 magazine review)": "Norman Birnbach’s ‘It’s All Relative At The Space-Time Café’ is a humorous piece of word-play which will appeal most strongly to those familiar with the roll-call of twentieth century physicists, as befits a piece written to mark the centenary of Einstein’s Theory of General Relativity."
• Caius's Reviews: "The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, November/December 2015: "'It's All Relative at the Space-Time Café' by Norman Birnbach ~ 3 stars ~ Cute and contemplative with lots (and lots) of puns."

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