Humorist for Hire
A native New Yorker, I'm a humor and short story writer who contributes articles to The New York Times, The New York Times Magazine, The Wall St. Journal, Boston Globe, Boston Herald, New York Daily News, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, Barnes and Noble's "Grin & Tonic," Splitsider, New York Magazine, the Militant Grammarian and other print (and, regrettably, some out-of-print) and online publications.
My humorous science fiction short story, "It's All Relative at the Space-Time Cafe," appeared in Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction and was reprinted (in translation ) in Israel's Tenth Dimension magazine. Several stories have received award recognition. “Empty Nights” won Best of Show for Fiction in the 2019 Marblehead Literary Festival. "Shrine to the Cult of Joy” and "Wooden Kayak" received Honorable Mentions in Fiction in the 2023 and 2016, respectively, from the Marblehead Literary Festival. ("Wooden Kayak," a ghost story that I originally told to my kids as a bedtime story, also appeared in Spaceports & Spidersilk Magazine).
"Shrine to the Cult of Joy" and "Homework Assignment #3," which appears in the Militant Grammarian, are part of a series of linked stories that I'm writing. (It occurs to me now that publishing a story called "Homework Assignment #3" in a journal called Militant Grammarian may turnoff some readers if they think it's an actual grammar assignment -- it's not. "Homework Assignment #3" is a humorous dramatic monolog.) I also am currently shopping a completed YA time-travel heist novel.
In my humor pieces, I often tackle hard-hitting topics such as geeks and fashion (Higgs Weldon: "Five Tips to Help Techies Embrace Fashion"; Barnes & Noble's "Grin & Tonic: "VintageTech" and Glossy News: "Lessons From This Year in Tech & Fashion"), parking (Boston Globe: "Parking at Logan Airport -- Now There's a Challenge" and Indianapolis Star: “A Toyota with a Mind of its Own”), family life (Wall Street Journal: “Manager’s Journal: Benchmarking the Joneses” and Boston Herald: “Gall in the Family”), sports (New York Times: “Let’s Make Phone Tag a Medal Event” & “Mets Memo: Pay ‘em When They Win” and Chicago Tribune: “Baseball Should Sing a New Tune”), among other topics.
My writing has been described by editors as having "great energy, good jokes, and obvious timeliness," "a great sense of wordplay," "smart and original," "not suitable for our needs at this time," and "try us again next time." One reviewer described a story of mine as being "nothing more than a medium to pack as many science jokes a possible into 2000 words." (Kids, don't try that at home.) Another review said my story, "reminds me of a Big Bang Theory episode on steroids." (That was meant as a compliment, not as an endorsement of juiced-up fiction.) I am also proud that an article I wrote in 1998 for the Philadelphia Inquirer was ranked No. 8th most popular of the day at a time when far fewer people were accessing articles on the Internet (so I don't know how they were able to rank popularity back then.) A piece I edited, “Sleep Tips from a 90-Year-Old Insomniac” by Naomi Birnbach was named one of "Rumpus Staff Favorites 2020" by Elissa Bassist, Funny Women editor at The Rumpus.
I now live outside Boston with my wife and children and our dog, Taxi.
My humorous science fiction short story, "It's All Relative at the Space-Time Cafe," appeared in Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction and was reprinted (in translation ) in Israel's Tenth Dimension magazine. Several stories have received award recognition. “Empty Nights” won Best of Show for Fiction in the 2019 Marblehead Literary Festival. "Shrine to the Cult of Joy” and "Wooden Kayak" received Honorable Mentions in Fiction in the 2023 and 2016, respectively, from the Marblehead Literary Festival. ("Wooden Kayak," a ghost story that I originally told to my kids as a bedtime story, also appeared in Spaceports & Spidersilk Magazine).
"Shrine to the Cult of Joy" and "Homework Assignment #3," which appears in the Militant Grammarian, are part of a series of linked stories that I'm writing. (It occurs to me now that publishing a story called "Homework Assignment #3" in a journal called Militant Grammarian may turnoff some readers if they think it's an actual grammar assignment -- it's not. "Homework Assignment #3" is a humorous dramatic monolog.) I also am currently shopping a completed YA time-travel heist novel.
In my humor pieces, I often tackle hard-hitting topics such as geeks and fashion (Higgs Weldon: "Five Tips to Help Techies Embrace Fashion"; Barnes & Noble's "Grin & Tonic: "VintageTech" and Glossy News: "Lessons From This Year in Tech & Fashion"), parking (Boston Globe: "Parking at Logan Airport -- Now There's a Challenge" and Indianapolis Star: “A Toyota with a Mind of its Own”), family life (Wall Street Journal: “Manager’s Journal: Benchmarking the Joneses” and Boston Herald: “Gall in the Family”), sports (New York Times: “Let’s Make Phone Tag a Medal Event” & “Mets Memo: Pay ‘em When They Win” and Chicago Tribune: “Baseball Should Sing a New Tune”), among other topics.
My writing has been described by editors as having "great energy, good jokes, and obvious timeliness," "a great sense of wordplay," "smart and original," "not suitable for our needs at this time," and "try us again next time." One reviewer described a story of mine as being "nothing more than a medium to pack as many science jokes a possible into 2000 words." (Kids, don't try that at home.) Another review said my story, "reminds me of a Big Bang Theory episode on steroids." (That was meant as a compliment, not as an endorsement of juiced-up fiction.) I am also proud that an article I wrote in 1998 for the Philadelphia Inquirer was ranked No. 8th most popular of the day at a time when far fewer people were accessing articles on the Internet (so I don't know how they were able to rank popularity back then.) A piece I edited, “Sleep Tips from a 90-Year-Old Insomniac” by Naomi Birnbach was named one of "Rumpus Staff Favorites 2020" by Elissa Bassist, Funny Women editor at The Rumpus.
I now live outside Boston with my wife and children and our dog, Taxi.
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