Norman Birnbach
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Selected clips

The New York Times
  • "Let's Make Phone Tag a Medal Event"
  • "Mets Memo: Pay 'em When They Win"
  • "The Degree That Life Confers"

The New York Times Magazine
  • "NYPD Blue" 

The Wall Street Journal
  • "Manager's Journal: Benchmarking the Joneses"

The Asian Wall Street Journal
  • "That's Not Your Colleague, That's Your Wife"

Boston Globe
  • "Parking at Logan Airport - Now There's a Challenge"

Boston Herald
  • "Celeb grad speeches just an act"
  • "Virtual world of trouble: Living in the Age of Too Much Information"
  • "Stars and Stripes are Glorious, But Flag Day Gets No Respect"
  • "Above All, Don't Give Appliances to the Wife on Mother's Day"
  • "Why Daylights Saving Time Doesn't Mean Time to Spare"
  • "Gall in the Family"
  • "It's Time to Improve the Olympics"
  • "Barbies You Won't be Seeing Soon"

The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction
  • "It’s All Relative at the Space-Time Café"*
  • "Interview: Norman Birnbach on “It’s All Relative at the Space-Time Cafe”
  • "Editor's Note for Nov/Dec 2015"
* This story was included in 51 new short fiction writers (out of 604 stories) reviewed by Rocket Stack Rank for the 2016 Campbell Award.

The Tenth Dimension (Israel)
  • "Everything is Relative at Café Space-Time" ("הכל יחסי בקפה המרחב זמן" pages 48-51)

Barnes & Noble Review's Grin & Tonic
  • "2021: A Refrigerator Odyssey"
  • "Inferno Reboot"
  • "VintageTech"
  • "What I Want My Children to Be When They Grow Up"

McSweeney's Internet Tendency
  • "Things That Needed One More Iteration Before They Were Ready to Go to Market"

Splitsider/New York Magazine’s “Vulture”
  • "Taylor Swifties"

The Big Jewel
  • "The Gods Must Be Rebranded"

The Rumpus
  • "Sleep Tips by a 90-Year-Old Insomniac" (edited by)*
* This piece was named one of "Rumpus Staff Favorites 2020" by Funny Women editor, Elissa Bassist.

The New Watcher
  • "Sleep Tips by a 90-Year-Old Insomniac" (edited by)

Spaceports & Spidersilk Magazine
  • "Wooden Kayak"

Mr. Bull: Literary Magazine: Fiction​
  • "Snowbanks"

Glossy News
  • "Welcome to Fantasy Baseball 2019"
  • "Shirt Tales Part II: How My Lucky Red Sox Shirt Helped the Patriots Win Super Bowl LIII"
  • "Shirt Tales: How My Lucky Shirt Helped the Red Sox Win"
  • "Lessons From This Year in Tech & Fashion"

The Higgs Weldon (Now lost to the ages)
  • "Confidential HR Memo of the Gods"
  • "Clickbait Children's Tales"
  • "Clickbait for Accountants"
  • "Five Tips to Help Techies Embrace Fashion"

The Reject File (Now lost to the ages)
  • "What I Almost Called My Book — Titles That Needed One More Revision to Get It Right"
  • "Brunch Menu Item or Mafia Nickname?"

Hot Hot Phone
  • "Brian Wiliams’ Other Apologies"

BuzzFeed
  • "20 Days That Either Served, Shouldn’t Have Served Or Should Never Serve As A Major Plot Point In A Hollywood Movie"

The Spoof
  • "Bill O'Reilly Fights Back"
  • "Fit for a King"

Sage News
  • "Star Wars Would Be Different If Its Technology Was Like Ours"
  • "Oscar Winner J.K. Simmons Makes New Demands Of Farmers Insurance Ad Agency"
  • "Blatter Quits FIFA to Boost NFL Goodell's Integrity"
  • "Nickname Guide for Newborn Princesses"

Chicago Tribune
  • "Baseball Should Sing a New Tune"*
  • "Take Note: Holiday Shopping Tips for Shopping-Impaired Guys"
  • "Are We Having Fun Yet?"
  • "Got Any Big Plans for the Holiday?"
  • "A Few Pointers on How to Improve the Winter Olympics"
* "Baseball Should Sing a New Tune" was cited in the Fordham Intellectual Property, Media and Entertainment Law Journal: "Panel 1: Stadium Finance, Naming Rights & Team Relocation," page 39.

New York Daily News
  • "Avoiding the Holiday Guilt-a-thon"
  • "Dig This Sales Pitch"
  • "Ivy Tower Baseball"
  • "Cold Shoulder for Winter Games"
  • "Flag Day – Not a Banner Holiday"

Miami Herald
  • "Random Thoughts: Sunday Smile - VCR That Flashes 11:00"
  • "Random Thoughts: Olympics for Real People"

Other Major Market Newspapers
  • Indianapolis Star: "A Toyota with a Mind of its Own"
  • Philadelphia Inquirer: "Change the Rules, the Games, Everything: I am Not Watching Until . . ."
  • Seattle Times: "How to Improve the Olympic Games"
  • Portland Oregonian: "Boycott Olympics' Television"
  • Washington Times: "Critic-at-Large: The Winter Olympics on Thin Ice"
  • Arizona Republic: "The Degree That Life Confers"
  • Honolulu Star-Bulletin: "Why I'm Not Watching the Olympics"
  • Rocky Mountain News: "Olympics Put Our Endurance to Test"
  • San Francisco Chronicle: "Wasting Time on the Olympics"
  • Houston Chronicle: "If the Olympic Games Were Based on Real Life, More People Would Watch"
  • Boston Business Journal: "Top-secret Business Consulting Tips from Bond, James Bond"

Regional Newspapers
  • Salem News: "Worst summer vacations in history"
  • Gloucester Times : "My View: My life is an open e-book"
  • Boston Business Journal: "Top-secret Business Consulting Tips from Bond, James Bond"

Broadcast
  • The BullSheet: Scintillating Radio Show Prep: "Bull's Bits: BS Things That Needed 1 More Iteration Before Being Ready to Market"
  • National College TV (NCTV): "TV News"
  • XYQ-AM (1010 AM), Portland, OR, "Dream Weaver Show"
  • Mind Extension University: "American Memory Project"
  • Mind Extension University: "The Candidates on Education"

Magazine Articles
  • Vulture: "Taylor Swifties"
  • New York Magazine: "Wordplay: Taylor Swifties"
  • Seventeen: "Campus Hate Speech Laws"

Sample Other Published Articles
  • Boston Globe: "Closing the Digital Divide"

Sample Reviews
  • SFRevu: "The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction - November/December 2015– Volume 129, Nos.5&6, Whole No.722": "'It's All Relative at the Space-Time Café' by Norman Birnbach -+- Bohr and his former girlfriend, Jenny, meet in the eponymous bar. Their friends all have very familiar names and say very familiar things. A lot of jokes here and the story is pure fun."
  • Amazing Stories: "MAGAZINE REVIEW: The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction Nov/Dec 2015": "According to the preface, 'It’s All Relative at the Space-Time Café,' is Norman Birnbach’s first published SF story. It’s kind of an extended pun (no, not a Feghoot), and reminds me of a Big Bang Theory episode on steroids."
  • Best SF: "Norman Birnbach. It’s All Relative at the Space Time Cafe. (Fantasy and Science Fiction, Nov/Dec 2015)": "A first SF story from an established writer, who is an SF reader, as the story clearly shows. A light-hearted look at love, amongst an investigation into the disappearance (or not) of Schrodinger. The plot is just a way to get a guest appearance from every scientist who has a science theory relevant to SF who ever drew breath. And there are a lot of them from Copernicus and Ptolemy to Hawking and Hubble, all making pertinent and apposite comments."
  • Locus Online: "Lois Tilton reviews Short Fiction, early October 2015"
  • Tangent: "Fantasy & Science Fiction, November/December 2015"
  • Rocket Stack Rank: "It's All Relative at the Space-Time Café, by Norman Birnbach"
  • SF Crowsnest (UK): "The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction (Nov./Dec. 2015 magazine review)": "Norman Birnbach’s ‘It’s All Relative At The Space-Time Café’ is a humorous piece of word-play which will appeal most strongly to those familiar with the roll-call of twentieth century physicists, as befits a piece written to mark the centenary of Einstein’s Theory of General Relativity."
  • Caius's Reviews: "The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, November/December 2015: "'It's All Relative at the Space-Time Café' by Norman Birnbach ~ 3 stars ~ Cute and contemplative with lots (and lots) of puns."

​​Awards
  • Best of Show, Fiction, Marblehead Festival of the Arts for "Empty Nights," 2019
  • Honorable Mention in Fiction, Marblehead Festival of the Arts for "Wooden Kayak," 2016
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