• 99 Years of Solitude
• Valley of the Doll
• Six Years in Tibet
• 1983
• The Six Habits of Mildly Effective People
• Where the Wild Thing Is
• The Second Man
• And Then There Was None

• Moby-Richard
• The Pretty Good Gatsby
• As I Lay Mildly Constipated
• The Satanic Limericks

What do you give a British royal princess? I thought a nickname might be a good idea -- since she has everything else and her name, HRH Charlotte Elizabeth Diana of Cambridge, is rather a long one.

The origin of this article actually came from another piece I had written, that had been rejected, that looked at royals and fast fast food joints. It's not just Burger King, Dairy Queen, and White Castle -- there are about a dozen restaurants with a royal connection despite the fact that one does not usually associate burgers and fast food with royalty.

Meanwhile, while my piece looked at nicknames that should not be conferred onto the princess, an alert friend, William Vodrey, found this: Titles You Would Not Want If You Were a King or Queen.

Their suggestions were pretty funny; but it's interesting, once again, to see different takes on a similar premise. What makes me feel a bit better is that that's from a message board, written by members of th Straight Dope, which has been going for almost five years now. Not that it's a competition, but I had far less time to turn this around.

• U1
• Jackson 4
• The Three Tops
• The B-51s
• Maroon 4
• 9cc
• .37 Special
• 9,999 Maniacs
• "Working Nine to Four"
• 1 Live Crew
• Ben Folds Four
• Two Dog Night
• Thompson Siblings
• Two Days Ago
• Ruby Monday
• Dave Clark 4
• Two Dogs Night
• UB39
• "Hawaii 4-0" theme song
• The Five Million-Dollar Man
• The Two Stooges
• Spice Girl
• Beach Boy
  
  

• 7 O'Clock Coffee
• 10:59 News
• Colt 44
• 20-Gun Salute
• "Adam-11"
• MI-4
• James Bond, 006
• Control Agents 85 and 98
• 13 karat gold
• 100 Dalmations
• Baskin Robins' 30 Flavors
• "49 Ways to Leave Your Lover"
• Vicks43
• 10W-39
• 999 Island Dressing
• Singlemint Gum
• Spirit of '75

1. It's all about the concept. And then you need to have a great headline. For sites like McSweeney's Internet Tendency's lists, it's important to set up the joke/concept in the headline, clearly and concisely. By the way, having a clear concept isn't the only hurdle, but if you don't have that, you're lost. A good place to get ideas for what works as headlines would be to check out native ads, which often raise the stakes for readers: "You won't believe what's in your food", "(Fill-in number) signs your (addiction, whatever that is, like clickbait) addiction is out of control"; or "This (fill-in-the-blank) will leave you speechless."
2. It's also about the visuals. You can have a terrific concept but if you don't have the visuals to accompany the joke, you won't get on Buzzfeed or other sites. Make sure you edit the artwork to be a consistent size and format. Adding graphics to your piece definitely changes the pacing of the joke, and as a writer, can take time to get used to. In fact, it can just take time. Even when I had a good sense of the graphics to accompany a fairly simple list with a complicated title (BuzzFeed's Community: 
   "20 Days That Either Served, Shouldn’t Have Served Or Should Never Serve As A Major Plot Point In A Hollywood Movie") posting and finalizing the graphics took an hour longer than planned. 
3. The length of the captions for lists depends on the site. Some sites, like Buzzfeed, generally limit the accompanying text to one sentence. Other sites like TopTenz often have a couple of paragraphs accompanying the graphic. If you're targeting a specific site, follow its style in terms of tone, approach and length. If you're writing for your own blog, consider which works best for you.
4. The number of items in your list depends on the site. Not surprisingly, sites like TopTenz want lists with 10 items. McSweeney's, BuzzFeed and others have no strict limit to the number of items in the list. But odd numbers like 5 or 7, or even numbers like 10, 15 or 20, work well when you're developing a numbered list. (Please note: not every list has to be numbered.)
5. The most important items in your list are the first and the last item. The first ensures readers get the joke. The last one should be the funny but with some unexpected twist or surprise to give the piece a sense of closure.